Times of crisis will come.... what will you do?

Hello beloved readers - I cannot believe it has been since January that I have "blogged!" Life has gotten very crazy - jobs, responsibilities, Nana and Pop and their health etc. I wonder if yours has been like mine? I have a very strong feeling that it may be.... Difficult times will come in our lives - times of crisis, busy times, financial troubles, health issues, decisions to be made, etc etc etc. Many things that could pull you apart.... stretch you to breaking....

Determine now how you will respond. From my perspective, there are two responses when a crisis hits. We can pull away from our mate, or we can pull together. We can determine that in times of crisis, we will depend on each other more than ever. We will take the time to talk it all out. We will listen to each other. We will "steal away" in the middle of our crisis times - to stay connected and thus grow stronger.

Difficult times will pepper your lives together dear ones. Be prepared. Talk about how you will respond - now - to the difficult times that will come. And never forget, "a three-strand cord" is not easily broken. This phrase is from Ecclesiastes 4:12. Read the version from The Living Bible: "And one standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back to back and conquer; three is even better, for a triple braided cord is not easily broken."

Stay close to one another - stay close to God!

(photo retrieved from www.istockphoto.com complementary photo)

Contentment... a learned "skill".....a choice

Contentment is a skill?

When you read the title of this blog, dear reader, do you agree that contentment is a skill? It is.... read my reasoning for a moment and see if you agree.

I have read Linda Dillow's book, "Calm My Anxious Heart." She has assignments in it. One was to list all the positives in your life right now. Once I got started the list went on and on. Actually - you all are one of the biggest positives in my life! Anyway, then she had us list all the negatives. And then this quote followed the exercise - "Two women looked through prison bars. One saw the mud, the other the stars...."

One of the secrets to true contentment is choice. There's that word again - choice. What will I choose to focus my eyes and heart on ???? Will I choose to focus on Paul's faults and annoying habits??? ( of which he only has one - :) Or will I choose to focus on the way that he looks at me.... and the way he took off of work for a whole day to be with me when my wisdom teeth came out last week.... and the way he listens... and the way he looks when he falls asleep in front of the TV... and the way I can cuddle next to him and be quiet and contented.....etc etc etc etc

So precious, beloved readers - practice the skill of contentment. Make the choice. Choose contentment... it is great gain!

Do you agree?

Maintain the "Adventure!"

Paul and I went to a marriage weekend through American Family Services sometime in 1987. I remember only too well... I was pregnant with Scott. Anyway, it was a wonderful weekend at a lovely hotel in Valley Forge, PA. They treated us so well - felt like I was on a cruise. The facility was beautiful, the food delicious, and the speakers were memorable. One of the things that we learned on that weekend was to keep your marriage an adventure. Keep it alive. Enjoy each other, have fun, laugh alot, cry alot ... be real. The speakers talked about all the ways they kept the "zip" in their marriage. One thing they suggested was to be spontaneous. So - on the day before New Year's Eve, we headed to NYC with our son, Kurt and his wife Stephanie and their friends Luke and Holly. Holly had never been to NYC and it was only Stephanie's second visit. It was CROWDED! And I thought, "What are we doing here?" But the spontaneity and the excitment was contagious! Trust me... it did add "zip" to our marriage!!!

So, in the sense of spontaneity and a lasting marriage, try something new tonight! Maybe a candlelight dinner at home, a cold evening walk, a movie date, .... I am sure you can think of something!!! Enjoy each other - you are a gift from God to each other and the joy, love and adventure of your marriage will pour out into others.

A New Puppy...

Meet Bailey! She is Kurt and Stephanie's new puppy and she came for a visit during the 2009 Christmas week. Now, you may ask, "What does a new puppy have to do with marriage?" I actually observed Bailey growing and changing everyday. She became more playful, more inquisitive, more challenging (at times), and grew physically. She reacted differently depending on the people and the places that she visited. And, she needed constant attention to help her grow and become the dog/companion she is intended to be.

Our marriages are like that puppy. They are always growing and changing. Our relationships with others, our locations, our stresses, our sorrows, our joys - all effect our marriages. Therefore, do not ever, ever, ever become overly confident in the strength of your relationship with your spouse. Your relationship always needs tending. Even after 30+ years of marriage to a wonderful husband, our relationship needs attention. After a busy holiday week, Paul and I finally got out alone for dinner. It was wonderful! I must admit, that Jana and Mark asked us to go to dinner with them after we went to a movie with them. It would have been good to go, however, our marriage needed "tending." We went to a lovely restaurant - alone - and just reconnected. This "attention" needs to be a priority.
May you all be blessed as you put your relationship with your spouse first in 2010. It's never too late to start!

With love to our beloved children and readers!
Paul and Kathy

p.s. - Nurture your relationship with your Lord too! He will never disappoint you!

Jana is engaged to be married!!!

Our only daughter is engaged! Her fiance asked us the day after Thanksgiving, 2009. Paul and I had an idea that he was going to ask us first for our blessing. So, on our annual "day after Thanksgiving breakfast walk" - Paul pondered, "What do I want to say to Adam when he asks us for our blessing?" I thought Paul was being his usual fun self and wanted to make a "smart" remark. I was wrong. Paul explained to me that this was much too serious for that kind of reply. His "baby girl" is going to have another man to take care of her. (Amazing how one can be married to a person for so long and misread them!!) Anyway, Paul decided that he wanted to let Adam know that he has our blessing, however, he needs to be sure that this is forever... a forever commitment/covenant. Therefore, if divorce happens, it is like death. Death to not only their relationship, but death to our relationship with Adam... our sons' and their wives' relationships with him.....

So - after Adam said, "I am so thankful that you have welcomed me into your family and that you love me like a son. I would like to make this relationship permanent by marrying your daughter."

Paul said, "Adam, we are so proud of you and of course you have our blessing... Just make sure that you are ready and willing to make this commitment for life. It takes hard work, but worth every single effort... more than worth it!"

.....then we all prayed together.......

Thankful for my husbud!

Hello my beloved readers!

It has been a while since I have blogged. Yet, I think frequently about ways to be sure that I am growing my marriage. I have to confess that I have been taking my precious husband for granted! Life is just so busy. He is always there, and I truly forget about thanking him! He keeps loving me unconditionally!

So - be sure to tell your spouse frequently that you are thankful for them.... for their presence, for their teamwork with you, for their steadfastness... thank them!

This willful act of thankfulness actually makes you love them more. You are reminded of why you married them.

So - enjoy each other... thank each other... and continue to grow in your love!

Enjoy!

Laugh Often....

I smile as I write that title, "Laugh often." My husbud has the greatest ability to get me to laugh. He makes me laugh at him and often times at myself. There is something special and intimate about laughing together. And, physiologically, well just take a look at this link to give you an idea of how valuable laughter is to your well-being. http://helpguide.org/life/humor_laughter_health.htm

Now you may ask, "How do we laugh when we don't think we have anything to laugh about." hmmmmmm Watch this!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64eht-rUakE

And remember, don't take yourselves too seriously - enjoy and laugh together!!!

With joy to my precious readers!!! Remember, the joy of the Lord is my strength!!