Always make your bed.....

Hello to my Beloved Readers - always make your bed!

This is vital advice to maintain and grow your marriages :)

I just bet you are thinking that I am crazy. How can making a bed be vital to your relationship with your mate?

Do I have your curiosity aroused? Read on and then let me know what you think.

I was making the bed the other day and almost stopped making it. I was running late...... Then a little tug on my heart strings said, "Make that bed - it's the time you to pray for Paul and your marriage." So - guess what? --- I did indeed make that bed. As I was making it I prayed as I always do,

for my husband;

for his protection, thankful for him and his partnership with me, for his wisdom, for his health, for his relationship with his children and our God, for us.......

Now listen here - beloved ones -

I started this process of "bed-making prayer" many years ago. And it has never failed me, or Paul. Praying for your spouse daily, purposefully and intentionally secures your relationship to him. It is another foundational practice that will grow you closer.

And one last benefit here - what can be a very mundane chore - becomes one of eternal value....

So - that is why I encourage you to always make your bed.....

The best thing fathers can do...

My Beloved Readers - how I smile as I think of you all... my own children, their spouses and my precious friends.

I was listening to a radio program the other day and thought of all of you. And, I believe this with all my heart. Fathers - the best action you can do for your children is to love your wife. As children observe, listen, hear, watch... they see you as you love your wife - their mother. They feel secure and safe in that love.

Our children will leave us someday - they need to leave and then cleave to their spouses. Therefore, they must know that they are precious - but that they will go and grow. They truly are not the center of my relationship with Paul, my husband. They will become all that God intended them to be. They are the parents of the future! How exciting! How right it is....

It is also very interesting to me that the Bible tells husbands to "Love your wives.....Ephesians 5:25." It doesn't tell wives to love their husbands. Isn't that interesting???? Perhaps it is because women love their husbands easily and men need to be purposeful in their love of their wives. Perhaps they need to be reminded. All I know, is that if the Bible says it - the most "wise" book ever written - then it must be sage advice.

So - men - love your wives. And women - encourage that love. It is good, strong and proven advice. Now it is your choice if you will follow it or not. It is also your privilege to determine what that love looks like......

Go, Beloved Readers, ponder this advice. And as always, let me know your thoughts... they are precious to me, just as you are....

Happy Mother's Day 2011!

Watch out for those "foxes!"

How I love to share with my Beloved Readers!!!

And especially, my beloved children...Kurt and Stephanie, Jana and Adam, Scott, Mark.....I love you all so very much!

I want to share the truth that no matter how long you are married - you must always work on your marriages. The work is hard, but the rewards infinite!

Paul and I have been married more than 32 years (which is in itself amazing - a blessing from God for Jesus is our center). Therefore, I really thought that we were "insulated" against any separation. I, naively believed, that we had "made it." How wrong I was! The responsibilites of life - my dad passing away, Paul's mom moving in, stressful jobs, my going for my Letter of Eligibility, etc. - all, very subtly pulled us apart. The very interesting part of all this is that we did not even notice it!!!! Remember that word - "sublty." Your marriages never move apart obviously - it always a subtle. If it were obvious, you would be able to react quickly. It would be easy. LISTEN - it is NOT ever obvious.

Look at the definition from the Free Dictionary of "subtle" - "so slight as to be difficult to detect or describe."

Before you know it, your marriages could be in deep trouble.

So, what should you do? Be aware. Be alert. Don't ignore the signs and red flags that tell you that you are pulling apart. Figure out ways that you will pull back together. Put your relationship as a priority. Get away. Craft times that will increase time to talk, enjoy, and agree that you need work. Talk often - talk some more.....and always pray. Figure out what you can do especially crafted to build and protect your own relationship.

But beware - people will not understand. They will not understand this "work." They may even sabotage your efforts. Stay focused.....those little foxes can steal....

"Catch all those foxes, those little foxes, before they steal the vineyard of love, for the grapevines are blossoming." Song of Solomon 2:15 NLT

Catch those foxes before they steal your love! The rewards are infinite!

Love and blessings to all my Beloved Readers. Let me know your thoughts.....

Always go through the "wall!"

Hello Beloved Readers! It certainly has been a while since I have blogged. Alot has been going on in my life. I will tell you more in later blogs. Suffice it to say, God always brings me through. He has never failed me... ever....and He will never fail you either.

So on to the idea of a "wall" and breaking through it - or breaking it down.

I believe that every time I have a "discussion" with a loved one - like my husband, sons, daughters - folks that I really have a close relationship to and want to maintain, there is a "wall" to go through. Let me define "discussion" so we are all on the same page. To me, a "discussion" is that time when there is a miscommunication in a relationship. When the person I am talking to and I just cannot get to that place of resolve. So these "discussions" that I am talking about are not light, even intellectual discussions. These "discussions" and their end result, are the meat of what keeps or breaks a relationship.

Now let's define "wall." I believe that in those "discussions" - there is always a "wall." Did you see that word always? I mean ALWAYS! And, if we want these precious, important relationships to be protected and grow - we ALWAYS have to go through that "wall" to the place on the other side where we are in sync again. We have to go through that "wall" to the place where our relationship is at peace - no garbage left to rot and fester. If we do not go through that wall - the garbage will pile up and have to be dealt with eventually. The garbage left behind from unresolved "discussions" will not go away on it's own. In fact, it grows.

So - from years of breaking through "walls" - be sure you go through it with your loved one. Yesterday, Paul and I had a "discussion." We went on a mini-vacation (a night away - but still in town). My idea of a mini-vacation was to stay at the hotel until check-out. I just wanted to be together --- Well Paul's idea was, it is Saturday - we had a lovely evening - now time to do the chores, go to the food store, clean up the yard, etc. I was hurt, but didn't say anything. Then finally we talked - and he said - "I'm sorry." But - the "wall" was still there. The issue was not resolved. Finally, after the hard work of not accusing, discussing fairly, listening intently - resolve happened. He truly understood my concerns and I understood where he was coming from.

Go through the "wall." It is real - It is not imagined. You know when that "wall" is broken down - your relationship has grown stronger. It doesn't mean that another "wall" will be easier to go through. Don't be fooled. The "walls" will still be there - it is just your awareness of them is quicker and your determination and love will bring them down - ALWAYS!

Enjoy breaking down those "walls!" Share your stories if you like!

God bless and keep you - oh Beloved Ones!

"God's Wings" - True Love

Hello Beloved Readers! It has been a while since I have "blogged." Busy time of life - but that is no excuse. In any event, I have been cleaning out some files and I found one file entitled "Inspiration." In that file I found this email that I have received from a dear friend on February 28, 2002. It was timely then and encouraged me today. I truly hope you are inspired and encouraged!




"After a forest fire the forest ranger began his trek up the mountain to assess the inferno's damage. He found a bird literally petrified in ashes, perched statuesquely on the ground at the base of a tree. Somewhat sickened by the eerie sight, he knocked over the bird with a stick. When he gently struck it, three tiny chicks scurried from under their dead mother's wings. The loving mother had gathered them under her wings, instinctively knowing that the toxic smoke would rise. She could have flown to safety but had refused to abandon her babies. When the blaze had arrived and the heat had scorched her small body, this mother chose to remain steadfast. Because she had been willing to die, those under the cover of her wings would live." (author unknown)

If we want a picture of sacrificial love - that is it! The mother bird loved her chicks so much that she sacrificed for them... even her life..... that they might live.

Makes me ponder - Do I love Paul enough to sacrifice for him? When was the last time I thought of his needs before my own?

Makes me wonder - Who loves me that much? Paul has told me that he would die to protect me. Thank God he hasn't had to put those words to the test :)

And I think of God... His sacrificial love...."He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge." (Psalm 91:4) I must tell you my beloved ones - I have been encouraged by this verse many times over in my life. He does offer a love that is protective to the death. ... A love that insures a place of rest here on earth and a heavenly home after my time here on earth is done.

Ponder and wonder and think about "it" with me......

Why this blog? Mother's Day reminds me...

Hello beloved readers - and precious children,

This Mother's Day I am reminded why I started to write this blog. I want to archive for my own children - words of wisdom about the marriage relationship. I want to remind you, my blessed children, that love and faithfulness has it's rewards. I want to remind you that it is up to you to make your marriage and your family your first priority in life. I want to remind you that you will never be disappointed when you put time, energy, love and compassion into your marriage. I want to remind you that a marriage - a good, strong marriage - is built by two people. I want to remind you to love one another as unconditionally as you can. I want to remind you to always speak well of one another. I want to remind you to run to one another in times of trial and joy. I want to remind you that I love you very much and I am always here to encourage you on the paths that you travel.

I want to remind you that God has loved you with an everlasting love!

I am so proud to be called "mom!"

Times of crisis will come.... what will you do?

Hello beloved readers - I cannot believe it has been since January that I have "blogged!" Life has gotten very crazy - jobs, responsibilities, Nana and Pop and their health etc. I wonder if yours has been like mine? I have a very strong feeling that it may be.... Difficult times will come in our lives - times of crisis, busy times, financial troubles, health issues, decisions to be made, etc etc etc. Many things that could pull you apart.... stretch you to breaking....

Determine now how you will respond. From my perspective, there are two responses when a crisis hits. We can pull away from our mate, or we can pull together. We can determine that in times of crisis, we will depend on each other more than ever. We will take the time to talk it all out. We will listen to each other. We will "steal away" in the middle of our crisis times - to stay connected and thus grow stronger.

Difficult times will pepper your lives together dear ones. Be prepared. Talk about how you will respond - now - to the difficult times that will come. And never forget, "a three-strand cord" is not easily broken. This phrase is from Ecclesiastes 4:12. Read the version from The Living Bible: "And one standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back to back and conquer; three is even better, for a triple braided cord is not easily broken."

Stay close to one another - stay close to God!

(photo retrieved from www.istockphoto.com complementary photo)