And now I'm smiling --- 

Funny-- I just read my last post to this blog from January 2014.  
I wrote in it - "Stay tuned for my next blog (which will certainly be sooner than one and a half years). And I will share my reflections with you."

Well - to say the least- it is well past  1 1/2 years since I've posted....
So why am I  smiling???....

A "family catch up" -- 
Kurt and Stephanie are now awaiting the arrival of their second child and our first grandson, Joshua, is 4 years old and just too cute!  They have bought a house and are doing a great job of making it a home.  
Jana and Adam have had their first child - Derek Scott.  And what a joy he is...Jana wants to be a stay-at-home mommy and I am certain that will happen soon!
Scott and Kim have bought a house -- making it a home and will soon be making one of the bedrooms into a nursery.  Yep!  They are expecting their first child -- :) 
Mark, our youngest, has his own apartment and is working hard at People's Kitchen. Lots of wonderful food and fellowship ---Give it a try if you are in town. And he is dating Courtney -- He and she are so very happy as they navigate and grow in this new relationship--- 
(And did I mention that - Both new grandbabies are scheduled to arrive in September?)
Is that why I'm smiling???....

A "Paul and Kathy catch up" -- 
Paul and I are getting older... and wiser (hopefully) ... and falling more madly in love with one another than ever before. It is a lot of work - but it is the best work of our lives, with the best return on the investment - ROI is so high!
Paul loves to tell the story of an acquaintance saying, "I love my wife of 35 years just as much as I did the day we were married."
Whew!!  How boring!  How dull!!!  How limiting!
Love just grows and grows and grows -- if only we will tend to our marriages.  
If only....
I have to confess, that there have been times in our marriage, when we "forgot" that truth -- However, we agreed early on that it was always our desire to have an amazing marriage - not a mediocre one.. not a bad one... 
Therefore - when we see those times of need in our marriage -- we have to stop - tend that relationship...
And those "tending" times are just soooooo good....(i'll share our tending times in some other posts in the future -- so stay tuned!) 
So, is that why I'm smiling???...

I turned 62 in January 2016.  I have "retired" from public education and am "realigning" -- 
Paul "realigns" in July 2016 ---
On to the next adventurous stage of our lives together -- 
Is that why I'm smiling???...

The ups and downs of life are still there.  There are days and moments of extreme joy and there are some very tough times -- Broken marriages of close family and friends, sickness, money woes.... loneliness.... misunderstandings...fear... despair... selfishness...

The "ways of our lives" are filled with all kinds of twists and turns -- 

Yet there is a foundational "view" or perspective that I have found never to fail me --- and perhaps will encourage you on your "way."

When life gives us those "rough ways" - I remember .....

"You teach me the way of life.
In Your presence is total celebration.
Beautiful things are always in Your right hand." 
Psalm 16:11 (CEB)

Perhaps... just perhaps... that is why I am smiling -- 
Thankful.  Hopeful. Contented.  
During the calm and during the storm (at least i try to get there during  the "storms" :) 
Because I know...
Because I am reminded ... 
of the Lord's constant Presence...

Encourage one another, beloved couples, of this truth -- There is 'total celebration' in your marriages when you allow His Presence to teach and lead.... 

ever onward and upward...with love....
Kathy

(P.S. That's Ollie! and baby Derek... with the Path ever before us ...
That doggie definitely makes me smile :)

Catching up....So why am I crying???

Hello all!
It's been quite a while since I've posted on our marriage mentoring blog … A lot as happened in our lives. We've been on a family Christmas cruise in 2012. Kurt and Stephanie are married four 1/2 years already. Joshua, our delightful grandson, will soon be two years old already! Jana and Adam's wedding was a little over 2 years ago. And they've bought a house and have quickly turned it into a home. Scott will be marrying his lovely bride, Kim, in August 2014. He just recently moved into his own apartment - a lovely little home here in Bethlehem. Mark is working extremely hard - 2 jobs - as he figures out his next steps. He currently chooses to make our home his residence- paying rent, insurance, etc. A fully participating member with all the responsibilities that entails.

Paul and I celebrated out 35th wedding anniversary in August 2013!

Blessed beyond measure!!!

So why am I crying? .........

We've also had our share of "difficult" times. The passing of Paul's precious mother. The aging of my mom. Paul's double knee replacement. The passing of our amazingly loving, kind, and fun sister in law, Peggy (my brother, Greg's helpmate). 

Is this why I'm crying?.....

Paul and  I have celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary as I told you earlier. But even that is not without difficulties… I am so thankful for a loving husband. Who takes time to listen and talk. But with busy lives, we found we have not attended to our relationship as much as we have perhaps in other times in our lives. So "it" came as a little bit of a surprise that even after 35 years, or maybe more so than ever, we need dedicated time to build, nurture, grow, love, and enjoy, our marriage. And we have definitely been purposeful in that. However, it is a lot of work, time, and effort.
So is this why I'm crying?…

I did turn 60 on January 6, 2014.
So is this why I'm crying?…

So why am I crying? In all those different aspects of life; the joys, sorrows, the difficulties, the good times, and the bad times,… So why am I crying?
Stay tuned for my next blog (which will certainly be sooner than one half years). And I will share my reflections with you.

Till then, dear children and friends, nurture your marriages as you never have before.

Time.....

Hello Beloved Ones!
What alot has happened in our lives this 2012!

Paul and I are grandparents for the first time.  Kurt and Stephanie blessed us with Joshua Paul!  He was born in late March and is now three months old... how time flies!  That is truly an adage we all can relate to.

When I hold Joshua and sing to him, rock him, feed him - I am transported!  Even as I write this -- I tear up :).  Why?  Because I am transported to 1982 when I held, sang, rocked and fed Kurt!  Why do I tear up?  Perhaps because I am feeling so blessed, perhaps because I miss those "simple" times..... Perhaps because the time really does go so quickly and I ponder -----
What am I spending my time on now?  What do I spend my hours thinking about?  Where do I place my focus?  Am I making a difference?  How do I know?

So Beloved Ones - treasure the moments, stop striving for "things," focus on the relationships.......
We are all given the same amount of time.  It doesn't matter if you are rich or poor, young or old - time is meted out to all folks in the same amount. 

Another "plumb" for your marriages and families - treasure the moments - you will never be disappointed if you do!

Blessings and Joy to my beloved children, grandchild, family and friends....

The "un-invited" dinner guest.....

Blessings to all my beloved readers and children,

For Jana's bridal shower, her bridesmaids asked each invitee to write words of blessing/advice to this new bride. Jana was telling me about these bits of advice -- and one really stuck in my mind and heart. Her good friend, Taylor, told her to turn off the TV whenever she and her new husband have dinner. I am not sure if she also added mobile devices - but I add that too! Keep dinner almost "sacred" time. The TV, the mobile devices, all are uninvited guests. Keep them out and away. Enjoy that time of respite with each other. Ask each other provocative questions :) Laugh together. Make dinner together. Clean up together. Simply enjoy this bit of a "vacation" everyday. It is called peace and rest.

As always - I do offer some words of warning; this time can be stolen away, ever so subtly. You will both come home tired and weary. You will just want to veg in front of that TV. You will want to look at Facebook - text your friends - and before you know it, this time of rest and reconnection is gone.... gone.....

This is another plumb line for your relationships. Keep vigilant eyes on that plumb. And when you are are "off" plumb - do everything to get back on line with your relationships. You will never, ever be sorry you did! Truly!

Enjoy each other --- you are the best gifts to each other!

Love and joy to all,

Kathy

The Thankfulness Light

Good Morning Beloved Ones!

I have this picture of Jana - because she so exemplifies a heart overflowing with thankfulness and joy- as she anticipates her wedding!

Jana and Adam got married 3 days ago. We had a lovely celebration with many close family members and friends. I am bursting with thankfulness and appreciation.

This quiet morning (after a very filled week of celebration and joy) I read several devotional selections on thankfulness from "Jesus Calling" - by Sara Young. She really hit the nail on the head about the value of having a thankful heart. She states that as you let thankfulness rule in your hearts an amazing thing happens! - you can see more and more of the amazing riches that God places in your lives. This happens even when times are difficult. "Thankfulness takes the sting out of adversity..... Thankfulness opens your heart to God's presence and your mind to God's thoughts. You may still be in the same place, with the same set of circumstances, but it is as if a light has been swithced on, enabling you to see from God's perspective. It is this Light of God's Presence that removes the sting from adversity." (Notice the "aura" of light surrounding the bride!)

So first to my beloved children - grow thankful hearts. I really mean this with all my heart - it takes time and effort to be sure that you look at life from a thankful stance. However, with that work comes amazing blessings through good times and tough times. And sweet Jana and Adam, there will be those tough times. Therefore, remind each other often of this "thankfulness" truth. It is another plumb line for your marriages and relationships. It is actually a great plumb line for life.

To my beloved readers - the heartfelt thought is the same - When our hearts and minds are focusing on thankfulness - then there is just not time for growing a complaining heart. The two just do not mix.

I am asking you all for a "favor"- I am allowing all my friends and family to hold me accountable to this stance as well. Life has a way of pushing us to that "complaining stance." Do not allow me to do that :)

I give you permission to remind me if and when I go to that complaining - worrying place.

As always - many blessings to all!

I am genuinely thankful for you!

Truly and with love,

Kathy

Do you love well?

Hello Beloved Readers!

The next few blog entries are generated from excerpts from "Simply Romantic Nights," published by FamilyLife. We were given this gift by a young couple - Heather and Glen, when Paul and I were married about 10 years. It has been a source of ideas and information on making marriage an adventure every day of our lives. I recently picked up this resource again. The truths contained herein about marriage are tried and true. I will do my best to share the truths with you and share practical ways that you can apply them in your marriages. Enjoy this adventure!!

Listen to this:

"In Portland, a 53-year-old wife discovers a rose in the driver's seat of her car.

A 29-year-old wife in Little Rock is sent on a scavenger hunt for her birthday.

In Rochester, a 42-year-old husband arrives home after work to find the house filled with candles and the children elsewhere." (p.9)

In Bethlehem, this 57-year-old woman snatches her husband away for a weekend away - to a Bethlehem hotel......

I have learned, that if I want my marriage to flourish and be intimate on all levels - I need to love well. I need to be purposeful and planned when it comes to my marriage. Both Paul and I have committed to this idea. And, we become closer and closer every single day of our marriage.

I recently saw my friend Melanie and her husband taking a walk. As we passed, she shouted, "We are working on our marriage! This is our talking time!" And away they went... talking and sharing.... together.

I went to my sister, Cheri's house last Saturday. She and her husband had just gotten back from their regular Saturday morning rendezvous. She said, "I cannot believe how important this time is! I can't believe that we have put this off at times."

Learn to love well. You will not believe the benefits; to each of you and to your families.

People are watching, observing.... What are we showing them?

What is a "lady's man?"

Hello Beloved Readers!

It has been a few months since I have posted - but I have been gathering material, so be ready for some more regular postings. :)

This one is about a "ladies' man." What is a "ladies' man" anyway?

Paul and I were sitting in the kitchen taking some time to just be together and talk. We were reflecting about our sons and how they have been so mature, helpful, and sacrificial around the house. Mark has helped with the gardening (even cancelling an appointment to watch the Yankees!), takes the videos back to Red Box without being asked etc. Scott cleaned up the basement after the rain - water in the basement - without being asked to help out etc. They definitely see themselves as a contributing member to this household. This conversation lead Paul to remember a Cheers! episode that he will never forget. This is Paul's memory of the scene: Sam, the bar's owner was a well-known "Casanova." Norm was talking to Diane and mentioned that, "Sam is a ladies' man!" Diane replied, "No Norm, Sam is not a lady's man. A real lady's man is a man who goes home to his wife and family every night... a man who really loves his wife... That's a REAL lady's man."

Hmmmmm - this got me to thinking and researching. I "googled" lady's man. What did I find? Nothing about a REAL lady's man. Page after page was about the "world's" definition of a "ladies' man." Just let your own imaginations go in that direction for a moment......and the results of those kinds of actions......

So - who is a REAL lady's man? I know my husband is my man and I am his "lady!" He absolutely loves me... all that is lovable about me and all that is not :). He thinks of me, sacrifices for me and truly wants to be with me.

How do I feel around my Lady's Man? I feel loved, affirmed, secure, contented, and actually adored. I am blessed by his "strength" of character. I feel like a Lady!

To my Beloved sons and male readers - be a Lady's Man. Know your woman. Love her. Sacrifice for her. And you will be a strong, masculine, REAL LADY'S MAN!

Ephesians 5:28 and 29