Dr Peter Doshi Capitol Hill vaccine video REMOVED by YouTube: MY RESPONSE

 I have included this video on a marriage blog????

Yes I have!  Because he is speaking about the value of nonjudgmental, and intellectual discussion and even the value of differing opinions.  

In Marriage -- or any partnership -- this is a very important key to a deeper, more fulfilling relationship with the "other" and even with ourselves.  

Take a listen - and reflect upon what it means to you and your partner in life :)  

It's ok to disagree and to agree to disagree, and it is in the open and trusting discussion that we all grow --  

As always - 

Ever Onward and with "living love" from my Purple Chair <3 

What does "piece by piece" equal?

I am compelled to share these thoughts with my adult children as well as anyone who is in a relationship.  The relationship does not have to be a marriage.  It could be a parent-child relationship, an employee-employer relationship, a bff relationship - I think you get the idea.

Sometimes, without intending to, we destroy our relationships "Piece by Piece."
Truly - by back-biting, ignoring one another, discouraging one another, putting others before our partners, disregarding that person, thinking the worst of that person, speaking "smack" against that person in front of others or to others.....
You fill in the ways, "Piece by Piece," the ways and the words that you and I have done or said that certainly do not build up and "shore up" our relationships....

Go ahead -- reflect now --- and share your reflections below in the comments.....
Piece by Piece: How have you torn down a loved one? And what did that Piece by Piece equal?
Maybe someone will see themselves in your comments too....... and reflect.....and ponder.....

Then - watch this Kelly Clarkson video referenced below.
(I saw it while reading this blog post: https://protectyoungminds.org/2017/03/16/reason-porn-bad/)

Background of the video:  The author of the blog states..."She is singing Piece by Piece.  In this song she tells the story of being abandoned by her father at the age of six and rejected by him again when she was older.  When she became successful, her father tried to return to her life.
But HER HUSBAND showed her that a genuine father's love can be truly healing.
(And I dare you to watch this to the end and not shed a tear!)"

Google this title or copy and paste this youtube title your search bar:
Kelly Clarkson - Piece by Piece (American Idol the Farewell Season) 
This is one of the judges reactions to her song....

So, Kelly's father; Piece by Piece, broke her heart.
And, Kelly's husband; Piece by Piece, restored her heart.

And so I ask you and I ask myself:
How can I be sure that, Piece by Piece, I am building up my wife or my husband or my child or my mother or my father or my brother or my sister?

Now - I ask you to comment below:
How can you build up your spouse, Piece by Piece?
And what will that Piece by Piece equal?

Which will it be for you?
Ponder a moment -
Will your Piece by Piece equal pain and destruction?
OR
Will your Piece by Piece equal protection and restoration?

As always - it is your choice and mine --

Make the right choice my precious "children" - You will be amazed at the results!

With love and honor and respect for all of you!
Kathy aka wife, mom, friend

Really??? One flesh???



Oh the mystery...
I just finished "The Lacemaker" by Laura Frantz.  There were so many phrases and quotes in this text that just resonated with my marital heart!  I am compelled to share (as usual!), with my adult children - but also with any fellow sojourners pondering the value of marriage....

This is one of the phrases; spoken by the groom of his beloved new wife, on their wedding day.
"... Radiant.  
This was his bride.  
The woman God had created for him since time began. 
The mother of his children, whenever they came.  
She was his, come the storm.  Come the war.  Come what may. 
Anwylyd (which mean Beloved in Welsh)."

This picture I have posted, is of my groom and I on our wedding day in 1978.
That means this is our 40th year of marital bliss.
Marital bliss?
Well - not always.

But foundationally, I still feel like Paul's new bride.
 
In his love, I am radiant (even when I don't feel like I am).

In his love, I will always be his bride (even when I don't feel like a beautiful bride).

In his love, I know that through our marriage vows, through the years, through the ups and downs, the joys and the sorrows - I was created for my groom since time began.

And I know that, obviously, I am truly the mother of all four of our amazing children.

And I am his -
Come the storm. Come the "war." Come what may... I am Paul's beloved, his Anwylyd.

And I can face this world with his hand in mine and my hand in his - one flesh...


May you recognize the blessing of this mystery of "one flesh."
It is true and it is precious --- and so we proceed hand in hand.
Never take this "one flesh" for granted - it is a gift from the Father's Hand and Heart!

Onward and Upward, hand in hand;
Kurt & Stephanie, Jana & Adam,
Scott & Kim, and Mark & Courtney

Love you all so very much!

Challenges!!!  In marriage?  Do they ever go away?
Nope!

I just read this in "The 7 Rings of Marriage" from a Youversion app reading plan:
"We should expect challenges to happen, but be encouraged by them because we know God is creating something great."  

[Really Lord? Challenges create something great?]

Read on  ....
"Spend some time in prayer giving thanks to God for what He's doing in your marriage.  Encourage each other to continue on, not getting tired of the work and the challenges..." 

[oh but Lord - I do get tired and weary.... I have a sense that we all do.
And I ponder...
Yet this I know; when I encourage Paul and he encourages me, then we are building and growing and foundational and happier and more content than when we are "at" each other and tearing each other down.]

The author of the devotional ends with these thoughts,
"...but be expectant and excited about what will be the result."

[The result of what?  Oh yes!
Through challenges we are encouraging our mates, building them up, cheering them on, loving them when they don't seem very lovable, accepting them, being on the same team as they are, thinking the best of them rather than the worst....
And God is creating something really great in us and in our marriages!]

The takeaways?
Let those challenges pull you both closer together rather than pulling you apart....
Encourage each other through them....
Remember that God is creating something really great!

Truly - I am

Remember to look for the rainbow!

praying for all of you and your marriages.

Be encouraged and excited and expectant as you travel through the great times and the challenges together!

Onward and Upward we go!

What is the real point of communication?

Hi Beloved Ones -

And we continue this "communication" thing --- This picture of Derek kissing his little cousin, Jackson comes to mind.  He is building relationship - loving on his cousin - demonstrating his love - Do I demonstrate my love to Paul?

So,  I bring up  and ponder more quotes from Chapter 10 in "The Twelve Pillars" by Jim Rohn and Chris Widener....

Listen to this --

"Communication is hard!!! But one of the reasons that it is hard is because so many people aren't looking at it as a practice wherein two people are trying to find common ground."
(my thinking here ---
What a novel idea!!!  Communicating to find common ground rather than MY ground!!!)

"Most of the time, each person is fighting to get the other person to give up their ground and come over to his or her ground. Then it is a turf battle instead."
(Reflect here my friends --
Is this sentence above describing your perspective???)

(A "TURF BATTLE!" I have been there -- lots in fact!!!! I just didn't know that's where I/we were! Where I, perhaps, took us????)

"Instead (of a "turf battle")
each should look for the COMMON GROUND."
(What a novel idea!!!!
Common Ground??? - Is it possible??)

And so I ask you to ponder this with me --and with your partner.......

To clarify;  Our homework is this - When you have your date-night, ask you spouse -
Do I "feed" a turf battle or do I build "common ground????"

Onward, Upward and Outward!

What's the best way to communicate?

Hello Beloved Readers -
So, what is the best way to communicate?
I think of my grandsons and how they communicate - Joshua (5) and Derek (22 months) and even the babies: Jax (10 months old) and Charlie (9 months old); all of them look so intently at the person interacting with them. They watch, they wait, they listen closely.  Then they respond - Just look at Joshua and Charlie!  They can't keep their eyes off of each other - Total Joy! Total Togetherness!

Sounds so very simple -- and then I look at married folks (including myself) and I observe -

How do they/I communicate?  Do I keep my eyes on my husband, Paul when he is talking to me?  Or, do I pull out my phone - (which by the way totally closes off all communication!)

Or am I distracted about  many things (like what I want to say next to "convince" him that my idea or solution is better than his!?)

"The Twelve Pillars" by Jim Rohn and Chris Widener ( http://chriswidener.com/products/12-pillars-paperback/ ) got me to thinking about this communication thing, especially applying it to communication in marriage.
My thoughts are in the parenthesis following their quotes.  I hope it helps you see my thinking --

Listen (really listen) to this wisdom from Jim and Chris ---
"...the most important thing about communication is listening. ... Sure we have listening-skills seminars"...
 (like how to have the right body language to communicate your point...etc.)

..."But it isn't the skill that is the most important. "
(It's NOT??? -- we have so many seminars on that listening skill thing!!  Have I been "listening" to poor advice or incomplete advice??? - again!!!)

"It is the 'character' behind the skill.  First and foremost, you have to care enough and value the other person enough to want to listen....."

Now to my final thoughts on this entry ---
So precious adult-children of mine and beloved readers, ponder the above info---
And think about this --
Do you care enough and value the person enough to want to listen -- really listen???

Think of the joy and togetherness in Josh and Charlie's pic above ---
I want that joy, always, when communicating with my "husbud"---my Paul ---

I will continue this extremely important "communication theme" in the next few entries -
And until then --

As always - Onward and Upward fellow sojourners!

Got any good marriage advice/wisdom to pass on?

Almost 39 years of marriage! And we could still use some great advice and wisdom! 

So many weddings this month! I find myself being asked over and over.. what is some good marriage advice? And so i come to my Twitter, Blog and Facebook family and ask these questions -

To anyone who has been married for 10+ years and is still happy in their relationship, what lessons would you pass down to others if you could? What is working for you and your partner? And if you’re divorced, what didn’t work previously?

Ready set go!!!!

Who's protecting my marriage???

I took this picture in NJ and think it is so applicable to a marriage relationship path.  It is a path that has to be protected. Sometimes we can leave the beautiful gate open for others to join us for dinner or game night etc.

And other times - on a regular basis - we have to close the gate and protect our marriage path and walk alone, just the two of us.

So "Who IS protecting your marriage path?"

Just take a look at these sentences and phrases for wise and practical answers to that question!

Love - from the center of who you are.

Be real - don't fake it.

Run (for your life!) - from evil (recognize that sometimes we do says things intending to hurt the other person --- RUN RUN RUN from that mentality.  

You are a "we" now.  

When we say mean and hurtful things to one another we essentially are hurting our own selves.

Hold on for dear life!  -  to "good" and to each other. This marriage "thing" is a wild ride!  Hold on to each other!!!!  

It's more fun that way!

Be good friends - I smile as I ponder this phrase because my Paul is my BFF.  He loves me unconditionally... makes me smile.  Makes me secure.  Makes me understand this mysterious marriage relationship better.

Love deeply - This takes time and energy and consciousness - 

Well worth it in every area: communication, finances, and especially intimacy.

Practice playing second fiddle -- The best phrase for me. 

On your next "date" -- Ponder it with your mate.  

What does it look like for your marriage? 

To your marriages and relationships Kurt & Stephanie, Jana & Adam, 

Scott & Kim, Mark & Courtney

I am so proud of you, my children, and love you with all my heart.

And to all the readers and "ponderers" out there - 

Read and heed these words and protect those relationship paths.

Onward and Upward to my beloved sojourners :) 

The challenges of marriage ---

Challenges?!?   In marriage?  Do they ever go away?
Nope!

I just read this in "The 7 Rings of Marriage" from a Youversion Bible app reading plan:
"We should expect challenges to happen, but be encouraged by them because we know God is creating something great."  

[Really Lord? Challenges create something great?]

Read on  ....
"Spend some time in prayer giving thanks to God for what He's doing in your marriage.  Encourage each other to continue on, not getting tired of the work and the challenges..." 

[oh but Lord - I do get tired and weary.... I have a sense that we all do.
And I ponder...
Yet this I know; when I encourage Paul and he encourages me, then we are building and growing and "foundational" and happier and more content than when we are "at" each other and tearing each other down.]

The author of the devotional ends with these thoughts,
"...but be expectant and excited about what will be the result."

[The result of what?  Oh yes!
Through challenges we are encouraging our mates, building them up, cheering them on, loving them when they don't seem very lovable, accepting them, being on the same team as they are, thinking the best of them rather than the worst....
And God is creating something really great in us and in our marriages!]

The takeaways?
Let those challenges pull you both closer together rather than pulling you apart....
Encourage each other through them....
Remember that God is creating something really great!

Truly - I am

Remember to look for the rainbow!

praying for all of you and your marriages.

Be encouraged and excited and expectant as you travel through the great times and the challenges together!  Embrace those challenges! Embrace each other!

Onward and Upward we go!

(By the way, this post was actually "authored" in November 2016.)

The challenges of marriage ---

Challenges!!!  In marriage?  Do they ever go away?
Nope!

I just read this in "The 7 Rings of Marriage" from a Youversion app reading plan:
"We should expect challenges to happen, but be encouraged by them because we know God is creating something great."  

[Really Lord? Challenges create something great?]

Read on  ....
"Spend some time in prayer giving thanks to God for what He's doing in your marriage.  Encourage each other to continue on, not getting tired of the work and the challenges..." 

[oh but Lord - I do get tired and weary.... I have a sense that we all do.
And I ponder...
Yet this I know; when I encourage Paul and he encourages me, then we are building and growing and foundational and happier and more content than when we are "at" each other and tearing each other down.]

The author of the devotional ends with these thoughts,
"...but be expectant and excited about what will be the result."

[The result of what?  Oh yes!
Through challenges we are encouraging our mates, building them up, cheering them on, loving them when they don't seem very lovable, accepting them, being on the same team as they are, thinking the best of them rather than the worst....
And God is creating something really great in us and in our marriages!]

The takeaways?
Let those challenges pull you both closer together rather than pulling you apart....
Encourage each other through them....
Remember that God is creating something really great!

Truly - I am

Remember to look for the rainbow!

praying for all of you and your marriages.

Be encouraged and excited and expectant as you travel through the great times and the challenges together!

Onward and Upward we go!

Want to spice up your marriage????

I was just browsing through Pinterest and found this blog! http://faithalongtheway.com/date-night-jar/
A date-night jar!
Will that spice up your marriage??? It will - only as much as you use it ---

Does your marriage need "spicing up?"  Chances are it does---
Marriages can grow "stale" or "routine" - So if you don't have a date night jar - at least be sure that you have date nights and also that you surprise one another!  Surprises are just so much fun!!!

Please remember dear children (and other beloved readers),  your marriages need attention.  This attention is specific to the two of you.  And the more attention you give it regularly (not annually, not monthly... I repeat - regularly!) the stronger your relationship, the closer you become, the more secure your children will be, the more fun you will have, the more deeply you will love each other, the more contented you will be, the more secure and stable you will be.... I could go on and on.....

So read on dear readers - and spice up your marriage this week!  I know Paul and I will - I am pondering how to surprise him even as I write!

What are the two most important words for your relationships?

So what ARE the two most important words for your marriage????

Believe it or not - we are not always this "happy!"  We definitely have our times when we are miles apart- not only physically but emotionally and relationally.  And those times, if not addressed quickly and purposefully - will pull folks apart.

So what ARE the two most important words for your marriage????
"I do?"
"Your fault?"
"You're right?"
"Let's eat?"

All kidding aside - I have found that the two most important words in our marriage are - "I'm sorry"
     * I'm sorry that we are fighting. Let's work on this.  I want us to be ok before we go any further.
     * I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings.  Let's talk this out.
     * I'm sorry you're having a hard day - Let's hug :)
 
Now pay attention here - EVEN IF YOU BELIEVE THAT "IT" IS ALL YOUR PARTNERS' FAULT - SAY, "I'm sorry...."
Truly - humble yourself -- You ARE sorry that things are not right between you.  You are sorry that there is a rift.  You ARE sorry if you misrepresented yourself.  You ARE sorry that this had to happen.

I have found that when that "wall" comes between our precious relationship - that the best way to start pulling those bricks down is with those 2 words - "I'm sorry......"
Those words magically and mystically open up communication - dispel misunderstandings - create an atmosphere of love and acceptance....

And - the more quickly one of you says them -- with the intent of growing closer and tighter and stronger --- the more quickly you will see the benefits!

Love to you all - especially Kurt, Stephanie, Jana, Adam, Scott, Kim, Mark and Courtney

And absolutely Love to my husbud, Paul! <3 nbsp="" p="">

Do I want to grow old with my husbud?

Really?  Do I want my husband, Paul, to be there all the years of my life?  To see me shrivel up and wrinkle up?  And I make myself smile. Of course I want to grow old with him.  And not just for us - but for a real life "legacy love."  The type of love that affects our future generations... Giving them stability and foundation and commitment and a picture of covenantal love....

I've always wanted a "picture" of the dedicated, self-less, committed "legacy love" of a marriage...

I love this picture of my mom and dad -- Look how they are holding hands.  Despite a lot of tough times, they stuck it out.  And the joy and blessings of this foundation is seen and felt throughout future generations.

Another "picture" of legacy love is this video - it is precious and encouraging and just watch --

How Much I Love You ....

And don't forget to tell your beloved How Much You Love Them.....I'm going to text Paul right now :)

"Great, Wow Marriages" just happen --- NOT!

I went out with my sister, CC, last Tuesday night.  We are being coached through a dog agility course with our two pups (thank you Courtney Huther - https://www.facebook.com/courtney.huther?fref=ts) and we love to catch up and encourage one another before class.

Anyway, she mentioned that a younger friend of hers approached her and said, "Ok Cheri - my mentor- do you have any words of wisdom for me?"  What an open and humble heart she displayed!
Trusting CC to guide, lead and speak encouragement to her....

It made me think of think of resources and folks that have come into our lives to mentor Paul and I in our building and protecting our marriage covenant....
Letters to Karen (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/805478.Letters_to_Karen), The Book of Solomon (wild and crazy book!!!), American Family Marriage weekends, The 5 Love Languages by Chapman (http://www.5lovelanguages.com)  etc etc...

Also made me ponder - We have life coaches for all kinds of stuff -- and we seek them out.
Do we seek out ways to be coached and mentored to build up our marriages as much as we seek out ways and folks to build up our bodies, our psyche, our doggies?

Hmmmmm....

Why not?  Perhaps because we think marriages just happen --????
Hmmm [my pondering word!]

Great marriages, "wow" marriages -  don't just happen! 
Just like obedient, agile doggies don't just happen....        
I am absolutely, positively certain of that truth -- 

So  - precious couples - my "mentoring" advice to you is --
Build your marriages --
Get mentors in place--
Garner resources that will protect, nurture and grow your relationship --
You will be blessed beyond measure as you proceed in this adventure together --

Truly -
Onward and Upward --
with love and joy for the journey ---
Kathy

Hired Hearts ---- hmmmmm

Hello precious sojourners --

I just read this quote:

"In the Harvard Business Review, Seidman writes about the shift to a human economy, focused on "hired hearts" and away from the knowledge economy, which held "sheer intellect" in highest regard. He reports:

In hiring, a recent study of over 1,000 CEOs indicates that above all they seek candidates who are "collaborative, communicative, creative, and flexible." (from Matt Levinson's blog)

I can't help  but see the parallel to marriage -- "hired heart characteristics"

Collaborative - we are in this thing called "marriage," relationship, legacy building  together.  So make it collaborative -- working together -- growing together-- laughing together!

Communicative - What in the world does that really mean???
 I know I communicate - but Paul?  He is lousy at it!
OR is he???? Communicative means being able to communicate (duh:)....
I have to admit, it does not mean doing all the talking. It doesn't mean articulate.  Communicative means being able to listen, suspend judgement... To me, it means working through discussions by honoring each other and giving each other time to express themselves.  Does that make sense?
I wonder how any times I "shut Paul up" because I was doing all the talking and explaining... hmmmm.  Ponder that one .....Perhaps the picture of Uncle Mark and baby Derek are the picture of active communicating?  See how they are listening?  just a thought.....

Creative - Create your relationship!  It will definitely be different than any other relationship ever established.  That doesn't mean you can't learn from others' good relationships.  And I know that I certainly learn from the bad relationships -- don't want to copy that idea!!! :)
So be creative -- enjoy each other -- enjoy creating your legacy!!!  Your adventure! Your story!

Flexible - Urgently needed!!!  It amazes me how much we look at others and think - "Wow, that's a great idea!"  or I want to have a party just like theirs, or I want to have children just like theirs, Or a house like theirs, or or or.....
Please listen here --- One of the biggest pitfalls that I see today (myself included) is the need to have everything perfect!!!!  And with that view comes rigidity --- yucky word in my book!  Rigid!
Now, I certainly want to be rigid about the idea that "divorce' is not in our vocabulary (check this post from long ago on that one.....Never use the "D" word!)
But - the more determined I am to find that perfect piece of clothing, perfect name, perfect menu, perfect body, perfect child--- the more frustrated I become -- And I would venture to say, the more frustrated and depressed my fellow sojourners are too.... (that's you guys by the way - my adult children - and family and friends and readers etc).

Thanks for reading and pondering.  Don't take this all as gospel please.  Just read, and ponder and reflect.... How does this fit into or benefit my relationships?  What take-aways do I want to take away?

And so I ponder --- Am I a "hired heart"  when it comes to my marriage relationship?

And now I'm smiling --- 

Funny-- I just read my last post to this blog from January 2014.  
I wrote in it - "Stay tuned for my next blog (which will certainly be sooner than one and a half years). And I will share my reflections with you."

Well - to say the least- it is well past  1 1/2 years since I've posted....
So why am I  smiling???....

A "family catch up" -- 
Kurt and Stephanie are now awaiting the arrival of their second child and our first grandson, Joshua, is 4 years old and just too cute!  They have bought a house and are doing a great job of making it a home.  
Jana and Adam have had their first child - Derek Scott.  And what a joy he is...Jana wants to be a stay-at-home mommy and I am certain that will happen soon!
Scott and Kim have bought a house -- making it a home and will soon be making one of the bedrooms into a nursery.  Yep!  They are expecting their first child -- :) 
Mark, our youngest, has his own apartment and is working hard at People's Kitchen. Lots of wonderful food and fellowship ---Give it a try if you are in town. And he is dating Courtney -- He and she are so very happy as they navigate and grow in this new relationship--- 
(And did I mention that - Both new grandbabies are scheduled to arrive in September?)
Is that why I'm smiling???....

A "Paul and Kathy catch up" -- 
Paul and I are getting older... and wiser (hopefully) ... and falling more madly in love with one another than ever before. It is a lot of work - but it is the best work of our lives, with the best return on the investment - ROI is so high!
Paul loves to tell the story of an acquaintance saying, "I love my wife of 35 years just as much as I did the day we were married."
Whew!!  How boring!  How dull!!!  How limiting!
Love just grows and grows and grows -- if only we will tend to our marriages.  
If only....
I have to confess, that there have been times in our marriage, when we "forgot" that truth -- However, we agreed early on that it was always our desire to have an amazing marriage - not a mediocre one.. not a bad one... 
Therefore - when we see those times of need in our marriage -- we have to stop - tend that relationship...
And those "tending" times are just soooooo good....(i'll share our tending times in some other posts in the future -- so stay tuned!) 
So, is that why I'm smiling???...

I turned 62 in January 2016.  I have "retired" from public education and am "realigning" -- 
Paul "realigns" in July 2016 ---
On to the next adventurous stage of our lives together -- 
Is that why I'm smiling???...

The ups and downs of life are still there.  There are days and moments of extreme joy and there are some very tough times -- Broken marriages of close family and friends, sickness, money woes.... loneliness.... misunderstandings...fear... despair... selfishness...

The "ways of our lives" are filled with all kinds of twists and turns -- 

Yet there is a foundational "view" or perspective that I have found never to fail me --- and perhaps will encourage you on your "way."

When life gives us those "rough ways" - I remember .....

"You teach me the way of life.
In Your presence is total celebration.
Beautiful things are always in Your right hand." 
Psalm 16:11 (CEB)

Perhaps... just perhaps... that is why I am smiling -- 
Thankful.  Hopeful. Contented.  
During the calm and during the storm (at least i try to get there during  the "storms" :) 
Because I know...
Because I am reminded ... 
of the Lord's constant Presence...

Encourage one another, beloved couples, of this truth -- There is 'total celebration' in your marriages when you allow His Presence to teach and lead.... 

ever onward and upward...with love....
Kathy

(P.S. That's Ollie! and baby Derek... with the Path ever before us ...
That doggie definitely makes me smile :)

Catching up....So why am I crying???

Hello all!
It's been quite a while since I've posted on our marriage mentoring blog … A lot as happened in our lives. We've been on a family Christmas cruise in 2012. Kurt and Stephanie are married four 1/2 years already. Joshua, our delightful grandson, will soon be two years old already! Jana and Adam's wedding was a little over 2 years ago. And they've bought a house and have quickly turned it into a home. Scott will be marrying his lovely bride, Kim, in August 2014. He just recently moved into his own apartment - a lovely little home here in Bethlehem. Mark is working extremely hard - 2 jobs - as he figures out his next steps. He currently chooses to make our home his residence- paying rent, insurance, etc. A fully participating member with all the responsibilities that entails.

Paul and I celebrated out 35th wedding anniversary in August 2013!

Blessed beyond measure!!!

So why am I crying? .........

We've also had our share of "difficult" times. The passing of Paul's precious mother. The aging of my mom. Paul's double knee replacement. The passing of our amazingly loving, kind, and fun sister in law, Peggy (my brother, Greg's helpmate). 

Is this why I'm crying?.....

Paul and  I have celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary as I told you earlier. But even that is not without difficulties… I am so thankful for a loving husband. Who takes time to listen and talk. But with busy lives, we found we have not attended to our relationship as much as we have perhaps in other times in our lives. So "it" came as a little bit of a surprise that even after 35 years, or maybe more so than ever, we need dedicated time to build, nurture, grow, love, and enjoy, our marriage. And we have definitely been purposeful in that. However, it is a lot of work, time, and effort.
So is this why I'm crying?…

I did turn 60 on January 6, 2014.
So is this why I'm crying?…

So why am I crying? In all those different aspects of life; the joys, sorrows, the difficulties, the good times, and the bad times,… So why am I crying?
Stay tuned for my next blog (which will certainly be sooner than one half years). And I will share my reflections with you.

Till then, dear children and friends, nurture your marriages as you never have before.

Time.....

Hello Beloved Ones!
What alot has happened in our lives this 2012!

Paul and I are grandparents for the first time.  Kurt and Stephanie blessed us with Joshua Paul!  He was born in late March and is now three months old... how time flies!  That is truly an adage we all can relate to.

When I hold Joshua and sing to him, rock him, feed him - I am transported!  Even as I write this -- I tear up :).  Why?  Because I am transported to 1982 when I held, sang, rocked and fed Kurt!  Why do I tear up?  Perhaps because I am feeling so blessed, perhaps because I miss those "simple" times..... Perhaps because the time really does go so quickly and I ponder -----
What am I spending my time on now?  What do I spend my hours thinking about?  Where do I place my focus?  Am I making a difference?  How do I know?

So Beloved Ones - treasure the moments, stop striving for "things," focus on the relationships.......
We are all given the same amount of time.  It doesn't matter if you are rich or poor, young or old - time is meted out to all folks in the same amount. 

Another "plumb" for your marriages and families - treasure the moments - you will never be disappointed if you do!

Blessings and Joy to my beloved children, grandchild, family and friends....

The "un-invited" dinner guest.....

Blessings to all my beloved readers and children,

For Jana's bridal shower, her bridesmaids asked each invitee to write words of blessing/advice to this new bride. Jana was telling me about these bits of advice -- and one really stuck in my mind and heart. Her good friend, Taylor, told her to turn off the TV whenever she and her new husband have dinner. I am not sure if she also added mobile devices - but I add that too! Keep dinner almost "sacred" time. The TV, the mobile devices, all are uninvited guests. Keep them out and away. Enjoy that time of respite with each other. Ask each other provocative questions :) Laugh together. Make dinner together. Clean up together. Simply enjoy this bit of a "vacation" everyday. It is called peace and rest.

As always - I do offer some words of warning; this time can be stolen away, ever so subtly. You will both come home tired and weary. You will just want to veg in front of that TV. You will want to look at Facebook - text your friends - and before you know it, this time of rest and reconnection is gone.... gone.....

This is another plumb line for your relationships. Keep vigilant eyes on that plumb. And when you are are "off" plumb - do everything to get back on line with your relationships. You will never, ever be sorry you did! Truly!

Enjoy each other --- you are the best gifts to each other!

Love and joy to all,

Kathy

The Thankfulness Light

Good Morning Beloved Ones!

I have this picture of Jana - because she so exemplifies a heart overflowing with thankfulness and joy- as she anticipates her wedding!

Jana and Adam got married 3 days ago. We had a lovely celebration with many close family members and friends. I am bursting with thankfulness and appreciation.

This quiet morning (after a very filled week of celebration and joy) I read several devotional selections on thankfulness from "Jesus Calling" - by Sara Young. She really hit the nail on the head about the value of having a thankful heart. She states that as you let thankfulness rule in your hearts an amazing thing happens! - you can see more and more of the amazing riches that God places in your lives. This happens even when times are difficult. "Thankfulness takes the sting out of adversity..... Thankfulness opens your heart to God's presence and your mind to God's thoughts. You may still be in the same place, with the same set of circumstances, but it is as if a light has been swithced on, enabling you to see from God's perspective. It is this Light of God's Presence that removes the sting from adversity." (Notice the "aura" of light surrounding the bride!)

So first to my beloved children - grow thankful hearts. I really mean this with all my heart - it takes time and effort to be sure that you look at life from a thankful stance. However, with that work comes amazing blessings through good times and tough times. And sweet Jana and Adam, there will be those tough times. Therefore, remind each other often of this "thankfulness" truth. It is another plumb line for your marriages and relationships. It is actually a great plumb line for life.

To my beloved readers - the heartfelt thought is the same - When our hearts and minds are focusing on thankfulness - then there is just not time for growing a complaining heart. The two just do not mix.

I am asking you all for a "favor"- I am allowing all my friends and family to hold me accountable to this stance as well. Life has a way of pushing us to that "complaining stance." Do not allow me to do that :)

I give you permission to remind me if and when I go to that complaining - worrying place.

As always - many blessings to all!

I am genuinely thankful for you!

Truly and with love,

Kathy