Friday, June 12, 2009

Never use the "D" word!

Do you know what the "d" word is? It is "divorce." When Paul and I were married for about 4 years we had our first son, Kurt. It was definitely an adjustment period for us (there are many "adjustment" periods in a marriage :). Anyway, I remember clearly telling Paul that I didn't need him if he was not going to be present in our marriage and in the parenting of our new son. I was very prideful and actually accusatory. I felt that I was doing the "work" of parenting alone. I told him that divorce was a viable option. He very lovingly and with alot of conviction said that it was not an option for him. We were going to work through this "adjustment" time together. And we would be stronger for it. He listened to my concerns, I listened to his and we did come out stronger and closer because of it. Our parenting and commitment to our family became rock solid.
After we got through that "adjustment" period, we agreed (actually we covenanted) that we would never use the "d" word again. That did not mean we would just "suck it up." No - it meant we would take the time and energy and commitment and the hard work to make our marriage foundational.

P.S. If your spouse ever hurts you - physically, emotionally, sexually, mentally - get help immediately. I believe that you are not in a real covenantal marriage when one spouse hurts another.

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