Your man is not a mind reader... and neither are you!

If you assume that your mate can read your mind, or guess what you are thinking, or buy you the perfect gift, or understand how you are feeling, or understand why you are angry, annoyed, happy or sad - then you are committing "assumacide!" You are going to "kill" your relationship with that one assumption!

It will take you a lifetime to know the inner workings of your mate's heart and mind. So, don't force your mate to figure you out. You need to communicate your feelings - good and bad - in order to grow closer to one another.

In fact, as I ponder why I believe this so strongly, I realize that it would be very boring if I knew exactly what Paul was thinking, feeling, wanting..... I enjoy listening to him, asking him questions, and essentially getting to know him....really know him.

I used to think that Paul should know exactly what I wanted for a gift, or where I wanted to go to dinner, or what he had said that so hurt me. If he loved me, he would know these things - right? WRONG!

Don't force your mate to guess..... take the time and energy to explain your thoughts and feelings. Study one another. It will take time... but the time will be well worth it. Trust me - I love getting to know Paul better and better.....

More about the "plumb lines"......

I just returned from my oldest son's wedding week. He and his bride are so good together. They have started to establish those "plumbs" to keep their relationship strong and sure!

Their wedding was at the beach in South Carolina. It was beautiful. The ocean amazing....but it made me ponder again, this idea of establishing plumb lines for our marriage relationships. The ocean- the undertow- was constantly pulling me away from our spot on the beach. I had to look up often and get myself back to the right spot. If I forgot to look up, I lost plumb. And, it was harder to return. And, I have to admit, I got scared sometimes when I realized how far away from plumb that I was!

So beloved ones - keep looking up! Keep marking off the "plumb lines" for your marriages. You will be blessed - I promise. This is "tried and true" advice!