Contentment... a learned "skill".....a choice

Contentment is a skill?

When you read the title of this blog, dear reader, do you agree that contentment is a skill? It is.... read my reasoning for a moment and see if you agree.

I have read Linda Dillow's book, "Calm My Anxious Heart." She has assignments in it. One was to list all the positives in your life right now. Once I got started the list went on and on. Actually - you all are one of the biggest positives in my life! Anyway, then she had us list all the negatives. And then this quote followed the exercise - "Two women looked through prison bars. One saw the mud, the other the stars...."

One of the secrets to true contentment is choice. There's that word again - choice. What will I choose to focus my eyes and heart on ???? Will I choose to focus on Paul's faults and annoying habits??? ( of which he only has one - :) Or will I choose to focus on the way that he looks at me.... and the way he took off of work for a whole day to be with me when my wisdom teeth came out last week.... and the way he listens... and the way he looks when he falls asleep in front of the TV... and the way I can cuddle next to him and be quiet and contented.....etc etc etc etc

So precious, beloved readers - practice the skill of contentment. Make the choice. Choose contentment... it is great gain!

Do you agree?

Maintain the "Adventure!"

Paul and I went to a marriage weekend through American Family Services sometime in 1987. I remember only too well... I was pregnant with Scott. Anyway, it was a wonderful weekend at a lovely hotel in Valley Forge, PA. They treated us so well - felt like I was on a cruise. The facility was beautiful, the food delicious, and the speakers were memorable. One of the things that we learned on that weekend was to keep your marriage an adventure. Keep it alive. Enjoy each other, have fun, laugh alot, cry alot ... be real. The speakers talked about all the ways they kept the "zip" in their marriage. One thing they suggested was to be spontaneous. So - on the day before New Year's Eve, we headed to NYC with our son, Kurt and his wife Stephanie and their friends Luke and Holly. Holly had never been to NYC and it was only Stephanie's second visit. It was CROWDED! And I thought, "What are we doing here?" But the spontaneity and the excitment was contagious! Trust me... it did add "zip" to our marriage!!!

So, in the sense of spontaneity and a lasting marriage, try something new tonight! Maybe a candlelight dinner at home, a cold evening walk, a movie date, .... I am sure you can think of something!!! Enjoy each other - you are a gift from God to each other and the joy, love and adventure of your marriage will pour out into others.

A New Puppy...

Meet Bailey! She is Kurt and Stephanie's new puppy and she came for a visit during the 2009 Christmas week. Now, you may ask, "What does a new puppy have to do with marriage?" I actually observed Bailey growing and changing everyday. She became more playful, more inquisitive, more challenging (at times), and grew physically. She reacted differently depending on the people and the places that she visited. And, she needed constant attention to help her grow and become the dog/companion she is intended to be.

Our marriages are like that puppy. They are always growing and changing. Our relationships with others, our locations, our stresses, our sorrows, our joys - all effect our marriages. Therefore, do not ever, ever, ever become overly confident in the strength of your relationship with your spouse. Your relationship always needs tending. Even after 30+ years of marriage to a wonderful husband, our relationship needs attention. After a busy holiday week, Paul and I finally got out alone for dinner. It was wonderful! I must admit, that Jana and Mark asked us to go to dinner with them after we went to a movie with them. It would have been good to go, however, our marriage needed "tending." We went to a lovely restaurant - alone - and just reconnected. This "attention" needs to be a priority.
May you all be blessed as you put your relationship with your spouse first in 2010. It's never too late to start!

With love to our beloved children and readers!
Paul and Kathy

p.s. - Nurture your relationship with your Lord too! He will never disappoint you!