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To my precious sons and daughters and beloved readers.... I am not sure if I ever told you this story about the propensity we women have to "mother" our men... so here goes:
When Dad and I were first married, I wanted to do everything for him. If he liked chocolate chip cookies, I made dozens. If he wanted something, I bought lots. I thought I needed to do all the wash, I needed to do all the cooking and cleaning and take care of my man!!! Thank God your Dad is so very wise. I can remember vividly when he sat me down for a heart to heart talk. He said, "Kathy, I am not incapable. I am a participating member of this relationship. I want to be a part of this team. And we are a team. So please do not mother me." That is all he needed to say. I got the point! From that point on, we worked as a team. That first year of marriage, we did everything together. If I cooked, he helped, or he cleaned up and vice versa. We did the wash together - great memories of going to the laundramat - loading the car, folding the wash - just enjoying our time together. We were growing our partnership and have not stopped! I love being a partner with Paul for sure!!!
I have watched many marriages disintegrate into a mother/child relationship, rather than a rich shared partnership. I'll be talking about this in my next blog...
Which type of relationship will you build?
Great blog Kathy! I know that I get a little motherly not only in providing for Nate but Gavin too. Nate is good in dealing with me when i go into mommy mode - i always try to help with the dishes after dinner even though he says dishes are his responsibility especially since i've cooked dinner and then he tells me to go sit and relax. I'm very fortunate to have such a good husband - i am blessed every day!
ReplyDeleteSorry to say my husband really enjoys that mother/child relationship! But amazingly when the mother goes on strike, the child fends for himself just fine!
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